I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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