i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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