whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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