a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
