I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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