R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
