just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
