So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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