A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
