I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
