what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
