Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
