I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
