Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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