New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
