the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
