Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
