I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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