tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
