one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
