What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize