She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
