All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
