She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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