id be glad to
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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