just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
