u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
