How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
