pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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