He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
