He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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