Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
