dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
