no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
