it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Damn victory sex feels great
Never underestimate the power of titties
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
