i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
