as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
