:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize