ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I need water and some morals
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
