i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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