I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize