She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
