You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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