I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
