i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
