Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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