And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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