Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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