You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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