Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
whose parrot is this?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
