It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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