I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
