I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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