I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize