Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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