I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You smell like stripper and shame
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Randomize
