my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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