told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
